So after the last post I made I suppose it would be rather pointless of me to say, "Guess who's back? No really, this time I mean it!". Because I don't. I'm not quitting either, for want of a better word, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the blog and the site as a whole because obviously I've been pretty negligent. If there was such a thing as the Blog Protection Agency then
The Nose Speaketh would have been taken into custody a long time ago, and would probably even now be living an idyllic life with its new suburban foster parents. One of the reasons I'm posting is because over the last month I've had a rash of invites onto Facebook and my first thought upon getting them was "Why would I do that? I already have my own site", followed swiftly by the realisation that my site had probably been colonised by tumbleweed by now.
I've always thought that if I did stop blogging I'd have the decency to actually say that I'm doing so, instead of sort of fading away. On the one hand I don't know if I have the time for it or the motivation, though on the other hand I have ideas of starting over and trying a different approach to the whole thing - because I'm really not the mopey, always-stuck-in-my-head person I was before, and I don't feel the need to write about my own life at all. If before I over-thought things, now I probably I under-think them. They just
are. Ok, end of analysis.
So no promises then. I guess we'll see.
Labels: Blogging
I realise it's quite hypocritical of me to keep an "AWOL" list of
bloggers on my sidebar, shortly before playing truant myself - so that's now gone. There is no big reason behind my
absence - in the time since my last post I've recovered from my illness, got back into 'normal' life, and now come back round full circle into being ill again. My natural immune system is, judging by the last month or so,
analogous to a sieve with a large hole in it.
There isn't a great deal to update on, though what's new there? And is it a surprise that I'm only posting now, when I'm suffering another affliction? I suppose this blog then is
analogous to the toilet bowl of my heart, the dumping ground for my crap when I need to relieve myself. But where would we be without toilet bowls? Falling on our asses, surrounded by shit. Toilet bowls are very
under-appreciated. And people shouldn't suddenly stop using their toilet bowls for a month without any word of explanation. It's bad for everyone involved. I think you know what I'm trying to say there...
Anyway I've mostly been occupied by the daily grind, with the occasional moment of fun and the rare instance of excess. It's a compromise life between where I'm
"supposed" to be, where I
think I want to be and where I'm happiest. And also a compromise between all those three and where I can get by with minimal effort. So I'm somewhere in the middle of that square. There's probably another corner that I'm missing out too. Perhaps someone can enlighten me on whether life is
analogous to a triangle or a quadrangle or some sort of super geometric impossibility that has more than four sides.
Back to the regular blogging schedule then.
Labels: Blogging, Fluff
The last few days have not been great. I've been cooped at home with easily the worst illness I've ever had. Ok, so it's the flu. But it's a really
really bad one. I've had just about every symptom you could associate with it, although the word 'symptom' seems far too mild. 'Affliction' seems more accurate, each one deserving their own apocalyptic horseman. Headaches, lightheadedness, hot and cold sweats, sore throat, bunged up nose and a cough that threatens to crack my ribs at some point. Worst of all was the throwing up. Being unable to eat or drink for two days because it makes you puke is never good for your mood. I've already resolved to stuff my face with the biggest burger I can find and then follow it up with a lard chaser, just as soon as I get better.
Actually I suppose it's the side effect of all this that's the worst - I'm going crazy. Being mostly on my own, stuck mostly in one place (the couch) and unable to anything physically or mentally demanding is not a recipe for a stable state of mind. And that's not particularly conducive to good blogging either (though some of you might think otherwise). Anyone have any suggestions for a way of stopping my brain from becoming mush?
Labels: General life
Working where I do, you get to see a lot of DVDs and CDs. And by that I mean you get to see a lot of DVD and CD covers. It's inevitable that you're going to see things you don't recognise - artists and films you've never heard of. At that point it's hard not to do what we're always counselled against - judging a book by its cover.
Don't get me wrong; it's pretty shocking when you go into some computer stores and find that the staff, in their crisp, neatly ironed uniform shirts, seem to have got all their knowledge about PCs from a brochure rather than from actually using one.
And between all the staff we have, we're a pretty knowledgable bunch. If you want to know about dance, world cinema, metal, C.S.I...I'll know who to ask. If you want to know about 24, Lost, videogames or indie rock, chances are I'll be the one who helps you. I know a large chunk of the Rock & Pop, Movies and Chart sections by reputation at the very least.
But customers will ask you for your opinion more times than you'd think, usually with the expectation that you've listened to, watched and played on every single product in the store.
I've had a customer come up the till with a box set of Tintin cartoons and ask, "Have you seen this? Is it any good?". When I answered that I hadn't, and that I didn't have any idea, they just gave me an exasperated sigh and started asking more variations on a theme of "Do you think this might be worth buying?". Now I'm not about to start lying in order to make a sale so there comes a point where all you can say is, "Well it's certainly cheap!" or "I do know that we sell a lot of it."
With some people, even that approach isn't going to help you out. What do you do when someone asks you whether you have any "nice music"? Bear in mind that it was 5 minutes before closing time and perhaps you'll forgive my less than 100% customer-orientated response: "This is a record store. I'm sure we have some nice music. Could you be a bit more specific?".
"Nice music. Something nice to listen to"
"I could tell you some of the music I like but I don't know if you'd like the same things. People have different ideas of what nice is..."
"I know that! I'm just looking for something good like, you know, reggae"
Amazingly, it went downhill from there.
Sadly I could write a lot more about the weird, odd and rude customers than I could about those that have brightened up my day.
I suppose it's part of the job to have an opinion on everything then, or to be able to recommend something. Looking for a film? Well Little Miss Sunshine has just come out on DVD. A game? There's Warioware on the Wii, or LostPlanet on the 360. How about some "nice music"? Well there's The View - the Arctic Monkeys of 2007. Or The Gossip - the Yeah Yeah Yeahs of 2007. How about Klaxons - the Bloc Party of 2007? As opposed to the actual Bloc Party - the letdown of 2007.
(And yes, I know the above was rather simplistic but there are
other people who do music reviews far better than me)
When I'm handling stock that I've never seen before, I usually give it more than a cursory glance, especially if it's a film, to see what it's about in the hope of forming some kind of opinion. Often a good pointer is what the studios have chosen to print on the cover other than the title - quotes from reviews perhaps or just their own taglines and summaries. For the film 'Three' for example, starring that well known actress
Kelly Brook, the line at the bottom said:
Kelly finally bares all in this erotic thriller!
I like the way there's an air of inevitability implied there.
A recent Sunday night when I was putting out the new releases for the next week, I saw a new film that made me curious straight away, mostly because I'd never heard of it. What was perhaps stranger about "
Havoc" was that, brand new, it was selling for only £9.99 when all other new DVDs start at 15 or 16 pounds.
The picture was some blurry indistinct silhouettes of what looked like a gang in front of a car, so that wasn't much help either. There were no review quotes printed on the cover either, but there was a sticker on each and every copy with a quote from the respected movie magazine
Empire:
"...Anne Hathaway gets her kit off..." Empire
No star rating, no real endorsement as such, just that. I suppose the ellipses say much more about the film than the actual words.
A day later, in a newspaper advert for Havoc I saw the same quote as well as one from the slightly less esteemed
Daily Sport:
"The Devil Wears Nada!"
I'm pretty sure it's the only time I've ever seen the Daily Sport quoted with the aim of promoting a movie.
Perhaps someone can set me straight on how good Havoc actually is but until then, if any customer asks, "Have you seen Havoc? Is it any good? What's it about?", I'm just going to reply with that quote from Empire. I'm sure that, one way or another, it will make their purchasing decision a lot easier.
Labels: Observations, Rants, Working life
